Vrydag is hier!!
Gaan check ook sommer, daar is baie foto's galaai van hot girls.


Blykbaar 'n ware storie
A lady died this past October, and Absa billed her for November and December for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been R0.00, now is somewhere around R500.00. A family member placed a call to Absa:

Family Member: "I am calling to tell you that she died in October."
Absa: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."
Absa: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been.
Family Member: "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
Absa: "Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"
Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
Absa: "Excuse me?"
Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?"
Absa: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in October."
Absa: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Absa: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)
Absa: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given)
After they get the fax:
Absa: "Our system just isn't set-up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."
Absa: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."
Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"
Absa: "That might help."
Family Member: "Avalon Cemetery, Chiawelo, Plot Number B9075769."
Absa: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Family Member: What do you do with dead people on your planet?!"





Check hierdie stel mags!

Woensdag se goed

Pool bly maar 'n befokte game !!!!



Toe ek hierdie resep ontdek, het ek gedink dit is perfek vir mense soos ek wat sukkel om te weet of hoender gaar is of besig is om uit te droog.

Probeer gerus.
GEBAKTE GESTOPTE HOENDER
2,7 tot 3,5 kg hoender
½ koppie gesmelte botter
1 koppie stopsel
1 koppie ongekookte popcorn
sout en peper na smaak
Voorverhit oond tot 180°C. Smeer hoender goed met gesmelte botter, sout en peper. Vul hoender met stopsel en popcorn. Plaas in oondpan met nek na voorkant van oond.
Luister vir pop - geluide ...
Wanneer die hoender se gat ontplof, die oonddeur oopskiet en die hoender deur die lug vlieg, kan jy weet die hoender is gaar!

---

Sekretaresse aan baas: " Sal meneer omgee om as meneer in die oggend inkom, my net so 'n soentjie of 2 agter die oor te gee?"
Baas : (half stomgeslaan) " Nou waarom sal ek dit doen? "
Sekretaresse: " Ag meneer, ek hou van so bietjie "foreplay" voor ek rondgefok word"

JAKE WHITE’S LETTER OF RESIGNATION AS THE BOKS BOARD THE PLANE FOR FRANCE

Dear Regan

It is with much regret that I must accept your offers of 12, 16, 17, 25 and 30 April, 1 – 6, 10, 15 -20 and 31 May, everyday in June, and all of July except for the 16th (when you were attending a Youth Day Rally with the Watsons), to resign. I really did try to stick it out, but these are the reasons why I have no alternative but to finally accept:

In May I selected a squad of 45. You added Luke Watson. I could live with that. After the England Test we won 58-10, I trimmed the side down to 30. You added 8 more. Because these 8 were at least part of the original squad (and thanks for agreeing on the Chris Jones issue – yes he did throw the season’s best pass to Bryan Habana, but he DEFINITELY was playing for England) I could even live with that. But things from then to now have just gotten out of hand. “Trimming” a squad, sir, means that the numbers go DOWN ….. not UP!!!!

I mean, passing slips of paper around Parliament for members to write down any names of players they want to go to the World Cup is just ridiculous. Out of the list you sent me via the Sports Minister’s brother, 12 of those players retired more than 5 years ago, 3 play cricket, one is a woman, 2 are Samoans, and one died in 1981. Also, Trevor Manuel may play for the Parliamentary team, but I REALLY don’t need to check if he played “the odd” Super 12 game, as you suggested …. trust me! Of the other 112, the members for Witbank, Dullstroom and Machadodorp submitted the entire Pumas squad. Their argument that they had just beaten Ireland was unfounded, and yet when I tried to point out to you, and them, that they were mixing up the Argentinian Pumas with our most pathetic Currie Cup side of all time, I was branded a “dinosaur of old South Africa provincialism”.

This is not just a go at ANC members by the way ….. I also thought that the DA’s Dianne Kohler-Barnard’s suggestion of playing Marius Roberts because he has a “nice bum” and played a little bit of centre for Jeppe anyway (it was actually Pirates but never mind) was stupid (but in the spirit of reconciliation, you made me put him in anyway). And the FF+ insisting that Robbie Wessels doing the Leeuloop as a legitimate move with Wynand Olivier against the All Blacks would be our secret weapon ….. well …… do me a favour!!! (At least you scotched that one, although giving the thumbs up to their other suggestion, Errol Tobias was somewhat of a surprise). And what the hell was I supposed to do with 13 of King Goodwill’s sons (IFP submission I assume????)

But I could even live with that! As could I the embarrassment, of a World Cup squad announcement that lasted 2 hours on Supersport the other night. It was all good and well having to read out 163 names that were on the list already …. But when you invite members of the viewing audience to phone in, quote their ANC membership number and add a player of their choice, well that’s just ridiculous!

Tomorrow I would have boarded the specially chartered 747 (yes, it was nice of British Airways to give our squad our very own Jumbo at short notice) with 278 Springbok players and management, 93% of whom I’ve never even heard of, let alone even met. And to add insult to injury, you slip in Hanyane Shimange as a late inclusion (9 hookers????) because the jumpseat on the plane wasn’t taken?????? Even if we DID need 9 hookers (that argument about the Samoans eating frontrowers was a bit far fetched don’t you think?) don’t you think it would have been decent to at least reinstate John Smit?

The final straw was Butane Khompela’s insistence that Ge Korsten be sent along as part of my back up team, so that he could sing “Liefling” live whenever Derrick kicked a successful goal. (This despite my insistence that Hougaard wasn’t part of my match plans anyway.) When I informed Mr Khompela that Mr Korsten had in fact, passed away some time ago, he suggested that I “call his son Arno from the Springbok Nude Girls” and bring him along instead as, in his words: “I am sure his Dad taught him to sing that song as a young boy anyway”. I tried to tell him, via you, sir, there was no relation between the two whatsoever, and that the singer’s name was actually Carstens, not Korsten. What did you do? You drop Deon Carstens because his “brother” is involved in a transvestite rock band!!!!

So, yes, when I suggested to Mr Khompela that he needn’t remove my passport from up his ass, but could leave it there, that definitely DOES constitute my resignation.

I wish you and the new coach, Cheeky, all the best in France. (Just as well he happened to be at the airport anyway, hey?).

And please tell Mr Khompela that he needn’t have the passport cleaned and sent back …. I’ve applied for a new one, and should get it just in time to be coaching France or England in the 2011 World Cup.

Sincerely

Jake

PS You can stop that forensic investigation into my family tree now. Bob Skinstad is definitely NOT my nephew, or son.

Dinsdag se dinge:
Uiteindelik is daar weer iets nuut op die site. Nou wil jy seker weet "hoekom nou eers" ?
Want ek het moer baie werk en ek het nog nie eers by al die boodskappe wat vir my gelos is uitgekom nie !!!


Grapgat

Twee babas lê en chat in hulle prams
BABA 1: Eks moeg vir purity. Dis purity ini oggend, middag en aand en dan nog purity tussen in!!! EK'S MOEG DAARVOOR!!!
BABA 2: Jy's lucky. Het jy al 'n tiet gedeel met 'n ou wat Lexington rook???

-----
Several men are in the changing room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and began to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Darling, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only £1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?
MAN: "Sure,. go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "£70,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ... The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking £950,000"
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of 900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It really is a pretty good price."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....
He smiles and asks:
"Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
----

Ek sê mos sokker is 'n moffie sport...


...visvang is baie beter!!!



Site Updates
As jy daar by die partyfoto's ingaan, refresh net die bladsy, anders gaan jy nie die nuwe albums sien nie. Daar is ook weer so paar nuwe foto's van hot babes gelaai.

So van babes gepraat... wat dink julle van hierdie girl?

So op 'n Donderdag...

Gisteraand het ons vir'n slag weer lekker gekuier. Die crowd was bietjie aan die klein kant, maar nogtans is daar redelik hard en ernstig gedrink. Ons het kans gekry om ons nuwe kamera uit te toets. Hy neem moerse kwaai foto's. Kyk heel onder aan hierdie blad en bestel sommer vir jou ook so een. Ek sal die foto's van gisteraand more laai.

Check hier sign agter op die kak-lorrie


---
Hoe weet jy 'n man het erg suikersiekte? As hy draadtrek en hy skiet spookasem.
---
Wat is die toppunt van rassisme? As die tuinjong weier om die Afrikanertjies nat te gooi.
---


Seun en pa sit in bad.
Seun: Wat is daai?
Pa: Dis husse.
Seun kom in die kombuis vra: Ma wat eet ons?
Ma: Husse.
Seun: Sorry ek eet dit nie, dit groei te naby pa se poepol.


Kyk nou net so... lekker sies!!!!
Kliek op die prente om dit full-size te sien


One day three small people decided they wanted to be in the record books the fist one says "I have pretty short arms", so he goes and succeeds. The second one says "I have pretty short legs," so he goes and succeeds. The third one says "I have a very small penis," and when he comes back he says "Who the hell is Leonardo DiCaprio?"

Hol afvee se moer... ek kak nat strepe in die pad af .

Kan jy die kak glo?
Sy is die Ukrainian Pole Vaulting champion, en sy is 18 jaar oud.
Volgens haar soek sy "a guy who will just love me for who I am"
Wat de fok gaan met die Ukranian dudes aan!?
Is hulle almal moffies of wat?


Miertjie stap eendag na die rivier...maar Miertjie is die moer in. "Krokidil!, Krokidil!" skree hy in sy woede. Krokodil wonder toe wat aan gaan en hy steek sy kop bo die water. Mierjtie skree weer.."Krokidil! klim uit die blerrie water uit!" Krokidil kyk toe die storie so en wonder wat vandag met miertjie aan gaan en miertjie skree weer, maar die keer met volle bors, "Krokidil klim uit die donnerse water uit!" Krokidil klim toe maar heel skrikkerig uit die water uit, want miertjie is heeltemal befok vandag. Miertjie loop toe al langs die rivier totdat hy by Seekoei kom en hy skree,"Seekoei! Seekoei Vetgat! Klim uit die bliksemse water uit!" Maar nou is miertjie eers bedonnerd en die bloed pomp na sy brein. Na 'n rukkie skree miertjie weer, "Seekoei klim uit die fokken water uit!" Seekoei bekyk die storie so en wonder wat fout is met miertjie vandag, Maar tog klim Seekoei bangerig uit die water uit. In tussen tyd vlieg valk verby en sien dat miertjie nie in 'n goeie bui is nie en hy vra "maar miertjie wat is fout?"
En Miertjie skree "IEMAND HET MY FOKKEN SWEM-BROEK GESTEEL!"
----

So van riviere gepraat... smaak my jy is nou amper veiliger in die see.


As jy gedink het ESKOM is kak, wag tot jy die brief sien wat jy hierdie maand saam met jou elektrisiteit rekening gaan kry. Gelukkig kon ons die brief onderskep om ons lesers vroegtydig te waarsku.


Dear Electricity Customer,

Just a little note to let you know we understand your anger in the recent price hike & power cuts.
But it should be noted that you have no choice.
We are a big company and you will pay what we tell you.
You have no choice.
We have the power, you need the power.
So sad, too bad. Sucks to be you.

We have enclosed a little picture to help outline our response.
Have a nice day and keep those cheques coming, you loser!

Regards
ESKOM




Haai shame daai hondjie is so lus vir 'n ou stukkie vleis, ek stuur hom sommer 'n steak in die pos.


Juffrou: Hoeveel pote het 'n hond?
Gatiep: Juffrou, 'n hond het vier pote !
Juffrou: Kan iemand vir my sê hoeveel ore het 'n hond?
Gatiep: Juffrou, twee !
Juffrou: Klas kan iemand my sê hoeveel sterte 'n hond het?
Gatiep: Jirre Juffrou, weet jy nie hoe lyk 'n fokken hond nie???
------
Kleinseun aan oupa op plaas: Wat doen daai bul oupa?
Oupa: Hy probeer oor die koei spring.
Kleinseun: Fokkit oupa as sy tril nie vasgehaak het nie, was hy oor!
------

Dit moet die KAKSTE KOSTUUM OOIT wees !!!


Petrol is nou so duur tot die Batmobile is kleiner gemaak.



Hoe weet jy 'n man het erg suikersiekte? As hy draadtrek en hy skiet spookasem.
---
Wat is die toppunt van rassisme? As die tuinjong weier om die Afrikanertjies nat te gooi.
---
Juffrou gee wiskunde en is heel in haar noppies met hoe makilik die kinders die werk verstaan.
Dis net ou Gertjie daar agter in die hoek wat so bietjie frons.
Juffrou: Gertjie, verstaan jy die werk wat ons vandag behandel het?
Gertjie: Sjoe Juffrou, net so kol - kol.
Juffrou: Watter kol verstaan jy nie Gertjie ?
Gertjie: FO- KOL
---

FHMSA se Sexiest Woman of the year 2007 : Tanya van Graan
Pragtig !!!!

Brief aan Oprah

Dear Oprah

Hosh Oprah, Gatiep hieso and I am a South African American 26 Sonop hoe sal jy kan wys raak. Met respect en disipliene. For long I am your biggest fan since long long back and I like what you did to your hair girl. Jy lyk mos befok! I watch every program and raak kwaad if I miss one. Jy sallie vestaannie.

Oprah My problem is that I come from a disadvantage beckgroun. Where I did grow up we did not have befokte goede. The name of the place where I is from is Hanover Park because everytime when you walk in the street the people tell you han over your watch or han over your tekkies or han over your shell phone.
And had to go to school kaal voete. Now I got skewe voete from the cold werra.

I am writing this letter because I see you give people their dreams and I have a dream too. My dream is too drive in a fast car and to become a pit crew boyjie like dat ouens from Michael Skoenmaker. Dey mos kwaai jong. I ken ouense here in Cape Town who you can organishe wif. They will tink I wanna rob them if I ask. Their names is Nathier Price en Jeremy Michaels en Alistair Mctavish en Rudi. Ek ken nie Rudi se van nie.

I don't have their phone numbers because they did steal da phonebook byrra tikkie box again. Maak reelings girl. Moetie laat ek America toe vlieg en jou binne in jou ma se wietie wattie slaat tie.

Moetie swaak raak nie girl.

Aweh my ma se kind!

Die party het gesuig... en nie in 'n goeie way nie.

Ons het nou nie eers 1 foto geneem nie. Ten minste het ons darem nog so paar ander goeters wat ons op die site kan sit.

...'n ou se batchelors partie


...die beste t-shirt ooit


wat om te doen as jou vrou jou wil werk gee...



A English rugby practice was suspended when one of the players reported a suspicious white powdery substance was found on the field.

The police was immediately called in to investigate. Forensic experts were called in and they checked it out.

After a few minutes it was announced that the suspicious white substance, unknown to the players, was in fact the try line.

Practice was resumed after an emergency session of the rugby board decided that the players were unlikely to ever encounter the substance again.



These two guys meet after not having seen each other for many, many years.

First guy asks the second guy, "How have things been going?"

The second guy speaking very slowly tells the first guy,
"I w..a..s a..l..m..o..s..t m..a..r..r..i..e..d."

The first guy says in amazement, "Hey, you don't stutter any more."

The answer comes, "Y..e..s, I w..e..n..t t..o a
d..o..c..t..o..r a..n..d h..e t..o..l..d m..e
t..h..a..t i..f I s..p..e..a..k s..l..o..w..l..y I w..i..l..l
n..o..t s..t..u..t..t..e..r."

The first friend congratulates him and then asks again about how he was almost married.

"W..e..l..l, m..y f..i..a..n..c..e..e a..n..d I
w..e...r..e s..i..t..t..i..n..g o..n h..e..r
p..o..r..c..h a..n..d t..h..e d..o..g w..a..s
s..c..r..a..t..c..h..i..n..g h..i..s b..a..c..k a..n..d
I t..o..l..d h..e..r t..h..a..t w..h..e..n w..e
a..r..e m..a..r..r..i..e..d, s..h..e c..a..n d..o
t..h..a..t f..o..r m..e. A..n..d t..h..e..n.. s..h..e
t..h..r..e..w t..h..e r..i...n..g i..n m..y f..a..c..e."

"Why would she throw the ring in your face for that?" asks the first friend.

"W..e..l..l, I s..p..e..a..k s..o s..l...o..w..l..y,
t..h..a..t b..y t..h..e t..i..m..e s..h..e
l..o..o..k..e..d a..t t..h..e d..o..g, h...e w..a..s
l..i..c..k..i..n..g h..i..s b..a..l..l..s!"

Goed wat vir ons gestuur is.

Aaag dis niks, ek kan dit ook doen, maar dankie vir die foto.


Dis mos waarvan ek altyd praat!!! Samewerking....

A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this huge black guy standing next to him.
The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 12-inch private part and 3 pound per testicle, Turner Brown".
The little white man faints and falls to the floor.
The big guy kneels down and, shaking him, manages to bring him to. The big guy says: "What's wrong with you?"
In a weak voice, the little guy says: "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"
The big dude says: "I saw the curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 12-inch private, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown."
The small guy says: "Turner Brown?! ... Whew, Thank God! I thought you said 'Turn around!"






Die Oom en die Tannie gaan dokter toe : Die Oom vra Viagra en die Tannie vra antibiotika.
Die Dokter vra toe hoekom benodig Tannie dan Antibiotika.
Die Tannie antwoord toe: Weet Dokter hoe gevaarlik is 'n geroeste spyker !!!

Ok, my beurt...


Seuntjie klim op bus vir skool, en toe hy gaan sit begin hy sing:
"As my pa 'n leeu was en my ma was leeu, dan was ek 'n leeuwelpie!
As my pa 'n koning was en my ma 'n koninging, dan was ek 'n prins!"
Busdrywer raak befok en geiriteerd met die klein laaitie se singery!
Toe laaitie weer begin sing, se die drywer hoogs befok:
"As jou pa 'n poepol was, en jou ma 'n straatvrou, wat was jy dan ?"
Laaitie antwoord, "Seker 'n busdrywer oom!"

Party vanaand!!!!

Ai, maar ek is lus vir 'n ou biertjie. Sal maar moet uithou tot vanaand... want vanaand gaan ek vir Barbs stukkend drink. Ek het so gevoel dat dit 'n lekker party gaan wees. Die meeste mense het klaar gepay so daar is fokkol verskonings vir hoekom JY nie vanaand daar kan wees as dit nie te ver is nie. Die fok weet, ek dink Barbaroozos sal my moet begin betaal vir hierdie advertensie en blootstelling wat hulle als kry. Dink julle nie ook so nie? Ek dink dis 'n moerse skande dat die crew volprys vir 'n dop moet betaal.

Meer fondse = beter paarties = baie shooters = meer girls wat besluit hulle is hot genoeg vir wille foto's.

Kom ons hoop die girls is hot, en die party is morsig. Miskien kry ons vanaand die volgende babe van die week. Sien julle daar vanaand.
>>> HOE OM DAAR TE KOM <<<

Oogkontak: Moerse overrated!!!



Nee wat, oogkontak se moer!!!


Daar is 'n klomp foto's van babes wat hot is, maar ons het besluit om dit nie te laai nie.
Dit lyk of niemand meer belangstel in die foto's van die hot girls nie, so ons kan net sowel die spasie gebruik vir iets anders.

Nou wonder jy seker waar ek daai idee sou kry?
*** Kliek hier vir 'n leidraad... ***

EDIT : 14h00
Ok, ek sien mense werk nou uiteindelik saam.


O ja, so van foto's gepraat... die paar foto's wat ons laas week geneem het by Barbs is gelaai.

DIE VERHAAL VAN DRANK.

Eendag, lank-lank gelede het CAPTAIN MORGAN met sy THREE SHIPS , vanaf CAPEVELVET na CAPE TO RIO uitgevaar. Hy kon nie met sy WHITE HORSE ry nie want hy het kwaai aan DRAMBUIE gely. JOHNNIE WALKER het op die skip MAINSTAY met Kaptein RICHELIEU se dogter, BERNINI (wie 'n lekker OLD BROWN SHERRY was), se PUSKIN gespeel. RICHELIEU het vir JOHNNIE WALKER behoorlik met n BLOU SAMBUKA bygekom, hom aan die BOLS beetgekry en ge MARTELL tot die dood.

Die bemanning VAT 69 dae deur KLIPDRIFT, oor SWARTLAND, verby WINDHOEK al langs SIMONSVLEI landgoed tot by CHIVAS REGAL se CASTLE, waar CHICOTO, die leeutemmer en KAHLUA, die diensmeisie, JOHNNIE WALKER se lyk vir die sewentien LIONS gevoer het.

Na die skokkende gebeurtenis was die OUDEMEESTER en SQUADRON lelik die MAMPOER in, en was die WIT BLITZ los. Hulle blaas op hulle 100 PIPERS en net voor die BELLS lui, stort JEREPICO se mure inmekaar. Vanaf die CASTLE stuur PRINCE CHARLIE 'n boodskap met 'n FISH EAGLE oor DRAKENSIG na KOOS WYE VOETE (KWV ) wat in 5TH AVENUE, JOHANNESBERGER bly.

Intussen sien FISH EAGLE 'n GOLD DUCK, kry 'n bonsende RED HEART en land onmiddelik op haar DIMPLE TEQUILA. Met die noodlanding breek hy ongelukkig sy een HANEPOOT en beskadig sy SAKKIES. Die forteinsoeker, ene HEINEKEN, gaan die bouvalle van JEREPICO binne, opsoek na HUNTERS GOLD en SPICED GOLD en kom sy AMAROELA tee.

Meneer OHLSON, wat 'n BLACK LABEL van afkoms is, hou hom HANSA slim (maar eintlik is hy net n DOM PEDRO), SNAPPS nie SMIRNOFF en J&B se storie nie en skree VIVA BERNINI!

Hierdie verhaal sal nooit in der ewigheid sy DOP of einde sien nie.

So paar snaakse goeters.

Klein Marie vier binnekort haar 5de verjaarsdag
Haar Ouma vra: "Wat wil jy vir jou verjaarsdag hê, Marie?"
Die pil Ouma, sê klein Marie.
Ouma kry amper n hartaanval en vra vir wat soek jy die pil Marie??
Sy sê: Ek het nou tien poppe en GENOEG is GENOEG!!!?



The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...''
Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
"Well, that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat."
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Charlie and me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look."
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate. When it started getting dark, I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh, equipment?"
"It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."
"Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."
Mrs. Smith fainted.........



Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day, while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank like a stone to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and Pulled Jim out. The medical director became aware of Mary's heroic act and he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable. When he went to tell her the news, he said, "Mary, I have good news & bad news. The good news is you're being discharged because you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, so I believe you've regained your senses. The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in thebathroom with the belt of his robe. I am sorry, but he's dead." Mary replied, "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry.

Moerse update more...

More sal daar weer vir 'n slag 'n klomp nuwe foto's geplaas word, met daaglikse updates daarna.


As jy dus iets soos hierdie het wat jy wil bydrae, stuur dit vandag nog vir ons.

Is dit 'n olifant? Is dit 'n seekoei? Nee, dis 'n moerse vark!!!!

Party mense mag dalk reken dis 'n skande om so dier te skiet, maar laat ek julle vertel, al wat ek sien is die wêreld se grootste spareribs en crumbed porktjops.


Volledige storie hier

Baie geluk aan die bokke met 'n puik 58-10 oorwinning!!!

Kom dudes, wat dink julle van hierdie poppie?
Ek dink sy is moerse hot.




...en nou sit julle daar, en niemand het iets te sê nie.

Die weer voorspelling. STOKSTYF-style



Die van julle wat nie die een vang nie is seker nie in SA nie. Laat ek bietjie lig op die onderwerp gooi, ai nou moet ek weer opstaan (die son skyn mos uit my gat uit). DIS FOKKEN KOUD.
Nou wil jy seker weet hoe koud is koud?

* 30 grade: Natallers soek hul truie (as hulle het)

* 25 grade: Namibiërs skakel hulle verwarmers aan

* 20 grade: Natallers bewe onbeheerbaar,

* 15 grade: Italiaanse karre wil nie vat nie

* 10 grade: Franse karre wil nie vat nie, Nederlanders gaan swem

* 5 grade: Natallers huil bitterlik,

* 0 grade: Water vries

* -5 grade: Kat dring daarop aan om saam met jou op jou bed te slaap, Nederlanders eet roomys, Kanadese gaan swem

* -10 grade: Politici begin gesels oor haweloses, New York se water vries,

* -15 grade: Russe trek T-hemde aan

* -20 grade: Duitse karre wil nie vat nie, oë vries toe wanneer jy hulle knip

* -25 grade: Party Russe kry koud, Namibiers vries dood

* -30 grade: Kat dring daarop aan om binne-in jou pajamas saam
met jou te slaap.

* -35 grade: Politici doen iets ivm haweloses. Nederlanders grawe sneeu weg. Japannese karre wil nie vat nie.

* -40 grade: Natallers verdwyn. Jy beplan 'n twee week lange warm bad. Sweedse karre wil nie vat nie.

* -45 grade: Kanadese trek truie aan. Jou kar help jou beplan aan jou vakansie na warmer dele.

* -50 grade: Russe maak hul badkamervensters toe .

* -55 grade: Die hel vries. Ben, Farmer en Wayne oorweeg om nie daai Saterdag te gaan skiet nie.

* -60 grade: Prokureurs sit hulle hande in hul eie sakke.

Hey, lees gou hier!!!!

Het julle al hierdie blog gaan uitcheck, dis moerse goed...

...en hou op verkak wees, los so paar comments en gooi so paar emails.

Haai shame...

Dear Dr. Ruth,

I am a crack dealer in KEMPTON PARK, GAUTENG who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Hillbrow and one of my sisters, who lives in Benoni, is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Brakpan. I have two brothers; one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Leeukop Central Prison for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his seven children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Yeoville. She is now only a part time "working girl" and makes love to other men maybe only now six times a week.She likes a lot of men to fondle her breasts all the time All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiancé and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin in Durban who plays rugby for the Sharks?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation.

Goed wat in ons email box beland het:



Ek wed jou sy kry fokken baie tips...


HAHAHA, daar is niks wat daai gat gaan laat kleiner lyk nie.


Ek begin deesdae al hoe meer van golf hou.

So paar goeie foto's.

Lekker talent volle girl hierdie


Superman se moer!!! Dis hoe 'n supehero moet lyk.





Kom, wat sê julle hiervan?

Die Christelike Leeu

Jan, 'n gelowige man, gaan jag. In die bos storm 'n leeu hom. Hy bid vinnig en desperaat....
"Here, laat dit 'n Christelike leeu wees", is al wat hy uitkry.
Die leeu stop by Jan, sit sy poot op Jan se kop en sê:
"Seën Heer die voedsel wat vir my voorgesit is en maak my opreg dankbaar daarvoor.


Knock knock?
Who's there?
Aspersie.
Aspersie who?
Aspersie oorgeskop het, het die Sharks gewen.

Weet nie of dit waar is of nie, maar ek kan dit nogal glo.

'n Waarskuwing van die polisie:

Laat weet julle vrouens by die huis, veral PRETORIA area teen die volgende:

Swart polisielede gaan by huise om, klop aan die deure en se daar was n inbraak by bure. Sodra jy hulle inlaat rand hulle die vrouens aan, steel en daar is gerapporteer van verkragting in Pretoria.
Van die lede is al gevang.

ONTHOU: Geen SAPS lid mag binne jou huis kom sonder n lasbrief nie.

Het jy geweet Shrek bly in Zimbabwe?

Chinese !!!

CHINESE PROVERBS
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run in front of car get tyred.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Panties not best thing on earth! but next to best thing on earth.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.




A Chinese couple gets married - and she's a virgin. Truth be told, he is not too experienced either. On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring.

My darring" he says, "I know dis yoo firss time and you berry fwighten. I pwamis yoo, I gib yoo anyting you wan, I do anyting - juss ask...Anyting yoo wan. Whatchoo wan?" he says, trying to sound experienced, which he hopes will impress his virgin bride.

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, "I wan try someping I have hear about... Numbaa 69."

More thoughtful silence, this time from him.

Eventually, in a puzzled tone he queries... "Yoo wan... Chicken wiff Broccori?