Aai fok maar die week is lank!!!

Die van julle wat nog nie vir HITMAN gekyk het nie, maak so asb. Dis een moerse kwaai fliek. Ek voel ek kan dit met 'n geruste hart vir die Stokstyf lesers aanbeveel.... hier is mos nie moffies nie.

Ek het toe my bike gekry en is baie tevrede, maar is daar enige iemand wat my kan help om hom soos die een in te rig?

Nee ek is ernstig.... as jy 'n LMG het wat daar iewers gondlê laat weet my asb. Daar is hoeka 'n bliksem wat 'n fiets uit my yard uit gesteel het. As jy wil kan ons saam die geweer toets. Jy bring die ammo, ek sal 'n teiken saambring.


MEDIESE TEGNOLOGIESE DEURBRAAK IN S.A.GEMAAK.

VERSTOMMEND !!

Die Mediese Fakulteit van Stellenbosch het 'n groot mediese deurbraak gemaak om die tekort aan bloed tydens bloedoortappings te oorkom. Die bloed van hoenders is volgens toetse bevind om geskik te wees vir menslike bloedoortappings. Die hoenderreus Chicken World het dan ook onderneem om daagliks 330 vate hoenderbloed aan die Bloedoortappingsdiens van S.A. gratis te lewer.

Dit blyk aan resultate van die navorsing dat bloedoortapping met hoenderbloed tot voordeel van impotente mans en koue vrouens is. Volgens die Fakulteit maak hoenderbloed, mans cocky en vrouens lê makliker.




THE ANT & GRASSHOPPER FABLE !!

An ant and a grasshopper lived in the same field. During the summer the ant works all day and night bringing in supplies for the winter, and he prepares his home to keep him warm during the cold months ahead.

Meanwhile, the grasshopper hops and sings, eats all the grass he wants and procreates. Come winter, it gets bitterly cold and the grass dies. The ant is well fed and warm in his house, but the grasshopper has not prepared for the winter, so he dies, leaving a whole horde of little grasshoppers without food or shelter.

The moral of the story is that one should work hard to ensure that you can take care of yourself.


The South African Version:

The first part is the same, but because it happened in Africa, there are a few implications.

The starving offspring of the grasshopper demanded to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed, while next door they are living in terrible conditions without food and proper clothing. A TV crew shows up and broadcasts footage of the poor grasshoppers, contrasting this with footage of the ant, snug in his comfortable home with a pantry full of food. The public is stunned.

How can it be, in this beautiful field, that the poor grasshoppers are allowed to suffer so, While the ant lives in the lap of luxury?

In the blink of an eye, the AGU (African Grasshopper's Union) is formed.

They charge the ant with "species bias" and claim that grasshoppers are the victims of 30 million years of green oppression. They stage a protest in front of the ant's house and trash the street. When interviewed by the TV crews, they state that if their demands are not met, they will be forced into a life of crime. Just for practice, they loot the TV crew's luggage and hijack their van.

The TRC (Take and Redistribute Commission) justifies their behavior by saying that this is the legacy of the ant's discrimination and oppression of the grasshoppers.

They demand that the ant apologizes to the grasshoppers for what he has done, and that he makes amends for all the other ants in history who have done the same thing to grasshoppers.

PAGAD (People Against Grasshopper Abuse and Distress) states that they are starting a holy war against ants.

The President appears on the 8 o'clock news and says that he will do everything he can for the grasshoppers who have been denied the prosperity they deserve by those who have benefited unfairly during the summer.

The government drafts the EEGAD (Economic Equity for Greens and Disadvantaged) act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to employ a proportionate number of green insects, and, having nothing left to pay his back taxes, his home is confiscated by the government for redistribution.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing off the last of the ant's food while the government house he's in (which just happens to be the ant's old house) crumbles around him because he is too lazy and incompetent to maintain it. Showing on the TV (which he and a couple of friends stole from another ant), the President is standing before a group of wildly singing and dancing grasshoppers, announcing that a new era of "equality" has dawned on the field.

The ant, meanwhile, is not allowed to work because he has historically benefited from the field. In his place, ten grasshoppers only work two hours a day and steal half of what they actually harvest. When winter comes again and not enough food has been harvested, they strike and demand a 150% increase in their wages so that they can buy more food, which now has to be imported because the grasshoppers were not productive enough to produce enough food.

The ant packs his things and immigrates to another field, where he starts a highly successful food company and becomes a millionaire by selling food to the field from where he came.....

And so endeth the fable..
one can just wonder......maybe we should learn a valuable lesson....

VRYDAG IS NATIONALE CLEAVAGE DAG!!!!



Daar is 'n lekker party by Barbaroozos aan om die ding te vier.
DJ's ens, so sien julle daar. Soos gewoonlik... dress to impress.





KLIEK OP DIE LYS OM DIT IN VOL GROOTE TE SIEN

TOYOTA
Die twee eerstejaar studente het 'n bietjie te vêr met die vryery gegaan, en
besluit om die nooi se ouers die naweek op die plaas oor die onverwagte
swangerskap te gaan inlig. Die hele aand het die kêrel gewroeg oor hoe hy
die voorgenome skoonouers oor hul lot gaan vertel, maar hy kom nie sovêr om
dit te doen nie. Die nag het hy sleg geslaap en die volgende môre was hy
vroeg op. Hy was heel verbaas om oral op die werf net Toyotas te sien.

In die motorhuis het 'n Camry gestaan, onder die boom 'n Hilux bakkie en in
die stoor was 'n Land Cruiser. Selfs die plaas se naambord was geborg deur
Toyota. Terwyl hy hom so verwonder, groet die oom hom skielik. Die arme
kêrel skrik hom flou. Maar kenmerkend van 'n vindingryke student herstel hy
gou en vra die oom uit oor sy baie Toyotas.

"Toyotas het baie goeie masjiene. Hul ratkaste gee nie in nie. Die Land
Cruiser se vere kan jy maar laat werk. Die onderstelle hou vir ewig. En
selfs in die winter sukkel 'n mens nie om die Toyotas te start nie," sê die
oom.

Waarop die kêrel vinnig antwoord: "Oom se dogter is seker ook 'n Toyota. Ek
het haar net so 'n ligte stootjie gegee, toe vat sy."

-------

MOENIE AL JOU GELD OP KAK SPANDEER NIE
.... hier is iets moeite werd om te koop. As jy belangstel, stuur 'n email na info@all-about-airguns.co.za

ONS WEET NIE WIE SY IS NIE, MAAR DAAI BOOBIES IS PERFEK!!!!

Die blog is heeltemal gefok!!!

Ek kan nie enige html WYSIWYG funksies in die hande kry nie, wat beteken dat ek nie prentjies kan plass of enige iets anders nie. DIT SUIG!!!! Ek sal nou maar moet kyk na iets anders.

Hier is solank 2 grappe tot tyd en wyl ek die blog issue uitgesort kry.

---
A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said,' Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'
The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'
The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things.
Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'Lord, I wish that I, and all men, could understand our wives and girlfriends; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.'
The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?
---

Cinderella is now 95 years old.
After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship. One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother. Cinderella said, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years"?
The fairy godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?"
Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish: "The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor. I'm living hand to mouth on my disability cheques, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension. Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold. Cinderella said, "Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother" The fairy godmother replied, "It is the least that I can do. What do you want for your second wish?" Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, "I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had." At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years. And then the fairy godmother spoke once more: "You have one more wish; what shall it be?" Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, "I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man." Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.
The fairy godmother said, "Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life." With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the fairy godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared. For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen. Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, & held her close in his young muscular arms. He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered: "Bet you're sorry now that you cut my nuts off" …

Uiteindelik kry ek weer kans om iets te post.
Ok, laat ons sien wat is daar om te vertel....
Ek het 'n bike gekoop en kan nie meer wag dat hulle die papierwerk afhandel nie.



...ons sien maar min van Eekhoring se kind, blykbaar eet hy nou uit iemand se hand uit
(a.k.a. pussy whipped)


Ons kan nou enige tyd 'n befokte party vir Stokstyf reel. Al wat ons nodig het is 20 mense wat bereid is om hulle lewers op te offer. Dit is van die Saterdag oggend af tot Sondag middag. Enigste probleem is dat jy jou eie vervoer moet organise Veldrift toe. Koste is R800 per persoon, maar dit sluit alle etes, verblyf, live entertainment, party boot, rubberduck ritte, ens in. Dit klink miskien baie, maar maak die somme. Dis 'n moerse bargain. Ons het gaan kyk wat ander plekke daar rond vra... vir dieselfde hoeveelheid etes, maar nie eers naastenby dieselfde kwaliteit nie, vra van die ouens daar meer as R550. Ons praat nie nou van boerewors rolls en sulke goed nie. Jy kry ordentlike kos... spitbraai, steaks, ens. Die ander entertainment en verblyf sal jou ook gewoonlik meers as R600 per persoon uit die sak jaag. As jy belangstel, laat weet ons, want ons gaan sodra ons 'n groep van so 20 mense bymekaar het.



A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 O'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, sort of bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man "Shit! That must be my husband!"
So the guy quickly got out of bed scared and naked he jumped out the window like a crazy man. He smashed himself on the ground, went through a thorn bush, then he stood up and started to run fast to his car.
Just a few minutes later he returned and screams at the woman "I'm your husband, you slut!"
The woman yelled back, "Yeah? Why were you running? You son of a bitch!"
-----------------

... ek was moerse besig die week!!!!



Lekker slaap groet om die wêreld:
ENGELAND: Sleep Well
HOLLAND: Goede nagt
AUSTRALIE: Night Mate
USA: Goodnite
DUITSLAND: Schlafen sie wöl
SUID AFRIKA: Shit!.... Is die deure gesluit, die vensters toegemaak, die kar ingetrek en die alarm geaktiveer? Is die Rotweilers binne ? Alles gebêre en veilig? Elektrifiseer die hakiesdraad ! Lekker slaap, moenie vêrder worry nie,..... fokkie lig,...... Eskom sal dit afsit !!


*** JOKE VAN DIE WEEK ( ingestuur deur Camel)***
Die ou tannie laat haar meubels waardeer. ('n Blinde man waardeer die meubels).
Hy vryf oor die tafel, ruik aan sy hand en sê : Hierdie tafel kan verkoop word vir R150 000 dit kom uit Napoleon se dae.
Hy kom in die sitkamer en vryf oor 'n stoel, ruik aan sy hand en sê: Hierdie stoel kan verkoop word vir R100 000, dit kom uit die Boereoorlog uit.
Die Tannie gaan na haar kamer, trek haar broek uit en lê op die bed. Sy vat die blinde man se hand, vryf oor haar muis. Hy ruik aan sy hand en sê : Klapperhaar matras, vrot gepis - R2-50!!!!!!!

WAT MAAK JY DIE NAWEEK? Ons het more 'n potjiekos kompetisie aan. As jy dit wil bywoon of net so paar biere saam met ons wil vat, is jy welkom. Jy ry deur Kuilsrivier, van die Bellville kant af, verby die Stellenbosch afdraai pad. Jy sal later 'n PennyPinchers aan jou regterkant van die pad sien... net so 300 meter verder is daar 'n plek met die naam DEL MONTE. Dis waar ons gaan wees. Check maar net uit vir die ouens met die Stokstyf t-shirts.

-----
Eendag merk die dominee 'n klein seuntjie in die voorportaal van die kerk op wat aandagtig na 'n groot gedenkplaat teen die muur staan en kyk. Dit was oortrek met name en daar was klein landsvlaggies weerskante. Die sewejarige seuntjie het vir 'n lang tyd aandagtig na die plaat gestaan en kyk. Toe loop die dominee nader, kom staan langs die seuntjie, en sê saggies: 'Goeiemore my Seun.'

"More, Dominee sê hy, met sy oë nog vasgenael op die plaat. Dominee, wat is dit hierdie?" vra hy. Die dominee antwoord: "Wel, my seun, dit is 'n gedenkplaat vir al die jongmanne wat in die diens gesterf het."

In doodse stilte en met groot eerbied staan die twee toe voor die plaat en staar na die name.
Uiteindelik, in 'n skaars hoorbare stemmetjie en bewend van vrees vra die seuntjie: "Watter diens Dominee - die oggend - of die aanddiens?"
----



HIERDIE WEEK SE LES:


No ja, ek is pap tyres en gaan nou eers huis se kant toe.
Cheers en geniet die naweek. Onthou... as jy kak maak, neem foto's en stuur dit Maandag.

Ons is uiteindelik weer aan die gang

Maar laat ek julle eers vertel.... as jy nog nie vir SHOOT EM UP gekyk het nie, doen dit, dis een befokte fliek.

Ek het my tette af gewerk aan die albums, so ek hoop hulle is nou vinniger. Die chatroom is ook weer aan die gang. KLIEK HIER

Julle moet bietjie gaan loer daar op Petunia se blog, sy skryf weer (soos gewoonlik) die befokste stories. KLIEK HIER



Q: What’s the correct way to eat a frog?
A: Put its legs behind its ears.

Lyk my almal het maar kak met ESCOM.


Two tramps were walking along the railroad tracks one day and one tramp said to the other, "I'm the luckiest guy in the world". "Why is that?" said the other tramp.
"Well, I was walking down these tracks last week and I found a 20$. I went into town and bought a case of wine and was drunk for three days." The other tramp said, "That was pretty good, but I think I'm the luckiest guy in the world. I was walking down these very tracks about two weeks ago, and just up ahead was a gorgeous naked woman tied to the tracks. I untied her and took her up there in the trees and I had sex with her for two days." "Jesus", said the first tramp. "You are the luckiest guy; did you get a blow job, too?" "Well", the other tramp said, "No, I never found her head."

Ons is terug in die land van die lewendes... vol planne en jagser as ooit.

Jy kannie glo watse mense ons als die vakansie ontmoet het en saam mee gekuier het nie. Smaak my die wat nie op die duine gespyker het nie, het dit in die swembad gedoen. Maar dis 'n storie vir 'n ander keer...



Ons gaan van Maart maand af elke maand 'n pubcrawl reel op ons eie splinternuwe party bus.
So, as julle deel wil wees hiervan, sal julle ons moet begin raakdrink by die plekke, sodat ons met julle daaroor kan gesels. Voorstelle is ook welkom.

Ek weet julle ouens is al uitgehonger vir kanne, maar julle sal maar moet wag tot more, want ek kry nie my gat gedraai nie. Ek sal sommer so paar van die vakansie foto's ook opsit.

Aangesien die Babe van die week so lanklaas ge-update is, plaas ons hierdie week sommer 'n tweeling.



Daar is weer net ingelse grappe vandag...
Five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel: pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised
land. Five thousand years later, Sam Shilowa of COSATU said: Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, light a Camel, this IS the Promised Land.
Now the ANC has stolen your shovel, kicked your asses, raised the price of Camels and taken over the promised land.
-----
Heaven is when you have: a British salary, an American home, Chinese food, a German car and a South African wife.
Hell is when you have: An American car, a British wife, a Chinese home, German food and a South African salary.
-----
When the Swazi king passes away, his entire estate goes to his youngest widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 11.
-----
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in South Africa to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
-----
Did you hear about the new R3 million SA Lottery? The winner gets R3.00 a year for a million years.

Party toeriste sal ook enige kak aanvang...

Laaste boodskap vir 2007
Ons gaan so bietjie weg met vakansie, want fok weet ek het een nodig.



Dankie vir al julle ondersteuning deur die jaar... o ja, en die van julle fokkers wat uit gechicken het op ons laaste party, julle moer ook... julle het 'n lekker een gemis.



Hier is 3 goeie redes hoekom dit leker is om in 'n warm plek te bly.


Aan al my pelle, gedra julleself.
As jy moet kak maak, neem foto's !!!

Geseende Kersfees !!!

VAKANSIE TYD!!!!!
Ek kan nie eers begin om te verduidelik hoe bly ek is om dit te kan sê nie. Ek weet die site is lanklaas ge-update en die babe van die week het al begin plooi kry van ouderdom, maar fok man, 'n mens werk jou tette af die tyd van die jaar. Daar is hope partyfoto's van ons laaste kamp, suipsessies by Barbs ens. Ek sal alles binnekort laai... tien teen een Sondag. Want dan kan ek weer vir 'n slag sit en chill. Vanaand en more aand is klaar vol geboek.


MOENIE DIE EEN MISLOOP NIE. (19/12/2007)
Die laaste party vir die jaar by Barbaroozos gaan 'n MOERSE groot een wees. Dis 'n tequila en kareoke partymet heelwat pryse om te wen. Daar sal so paar lekker fun events wees soos down-down en bodyshot kompetisies. Trek jou commenste klere aan, maak jou sakke vol geld, los jou maniere by die huis, dan sien ons jou daar.

Poena Is Koning



Ek het uiteindelik die fliek gesien! Al wat ek wil sê is al die film critics wat die fliek so afskiet se moere. Dis seker die fliek wat ek die meeste geniet het hierdie jaar. Hot girls, mense wat kak droog maak, vuilgat grappe, polities verkeerd soos kan kom, ens. PERFEK



My favourite stukke in die fliek is waat die onnie sy moer strip en tune "Fok die regering, fok die ANC, fok sokker...." of so iets. Maakie saakie, dis wat ek gehoor het anyway. O ja en natuurlik die "Jis ou Giel" stuk was kak snaaks al is dit ook 'n ou grap.

Kliek op die prent om dit full-size te sien


Hierdie naweek paartie ons biejie saam met Andries Vermeulen, daai dude wat so kwaai sing... check volgende week die foto's.
-----

Mediese professor gee 'n toespraak by 'n damesklub oor spontane spierbewegings. Hy vra so 'n oulike blonde dingetjie in die voorste ry: "Weet jy wat doen jou poepol as jy 'n orgasme het?"
Ja, antwoord sy, hy speel golf saam met sy pêlle !!



Die meisie slaag matriek goed en haar bejaarde ouers van die plaas, skraap hulle laaste geld bymekaar om hulle begaafde dogter verder te laat studeer in wetenskappe aan die beste universiteit in Amerika. Drie jaar gaan verby toe sy weer eendag bel, met die nuus dat sy haar eerste graad geslaag het, en dat sy vir hulle die produk wat sy uitgevind het, gaan stuur uit dankbaarheid dat hulle hul laaste ou geldjies gegee het om haar te laat leer. As hulle elke week elkeen 'n teelepel van die goed drink is hulle gewaarborg dat hulle gou-gou jonger sal wees, en met elke drinkslag daarna steeds jonger sal word. So gemaak so gedaan... en 'n paar maande gaan verby en die dogter besluit om die vakansie huis toe te gaan aangesien sy baie verlang.
Op die plaas aangekom, skrik sy amper om te sien hoe jonk en mooi haar ma geword het, daar waar sy die stoep vee. Haar ma was skaars dertig, pragtig gebou en soos in die outyd, met die oulikste kleintjie op haar rug vasgebind "Hallo Ma!!" skree sy, "maar Ma het jonk geword! Waar is Pa?" "Anner storie daai" sê haar ma. "Die derde aand wat ons daai goed van jou drink , raak jou Pa toe so suurgat dat ek baie gouer as hy jonger geword het dat hy daai bottel gryp en hom heeltemal uitsuip!" " Nou waar is Pa dan nou?"
Ma: " Hier sit die Bliksem op my rug!!!"

Jislaaik die week gaan vinnig...
mens kan net nie byhou nie!!

Ok daai is 'n moerse klomp foto's gelaai. Ja, ek weet dis laat, maar shutup, dit is mos nou daar!

Daar is van more aand af elke Woensdag en Vrydag parties by Barbaroozos. Ongelukkig weet Steven nie dat dit net mooi fokkol help om vir my details te gee as ek vol dop is nie. Sal maar kyk of ek vanaand daar kan omgaan en die goed kan kry.

Hou nou op so doos wees en woon ten minste een ou paartietjie saam met ons by.

O ja, amper vergeet ek... as jy belangstel om deel te wees van die eerste STOKSTYF PARTY, stuur vir ons 'n email. Ons vat slegs 20 mense! As jy een van daai vervelige dose is, moenie eers apply nie. Ons soek net die lekkerste kuiergatte vir hierdie booze-cruise. Stuur mail vir Ben@stokstyf.co.za of kom gesels met ons as ons weer by die bar is.



A Department of Agriculture representative stopped at a farm and talked with an old Afrikaans farmer. He told the farmer, 'I need to inspect your farm.'
The old Afrikaner said, 'OK Boet, but doesn't goes in that field over there.'

The Agriculture representative said, 'Mister, I have the authority of the Government with me. See this card? The card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?'

The old farmer nodded politely and went about his farm chores. Later, the old farmer heard loud screams and saw the Agriculture Rep running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's huge-horned prize bull. The bull was gaining on the Agriculture Rep with every step. The Rep was clearly terrified, so the old farmer immediately threw down his tools, ran to the
fence and shouted out.....

'Your card! Your card, Boet! Shows him your card!'



A Jewish woman says to her mother, "I'm divorcing Ralphie.

All he wants is anal sex and my arsehole is now the size of a 50c piece, when it used to be the size of a 5c piece".

Her mother says, "Sylvie, you're married to a multi-millionaire, you live in an eight bedroom mansion, you drive a Ferrari, you get a R7,000 monthly allowance, you take six holidays a year, and you're willing to throw it all away for 45c!"

Hier is vir jou 'n goeie geleendheid om so paar extra rande te maak vir die Desember wat voorlê.

Nog 'n week het sy gat gesien, en dis hoogtyd ook.
Weet nie of dit net ek is wat lus voel vir die naweek nie, maar hierdie week het moer se lank gevoel. Woensdag se foto's is gelaai, so gaan check maar daar op die foto gallery.


Jirre maar die doners is vermetel. Check bietjie hier.
(kliek om full-size te sien)



Klein seuntjie vra vir sy pa waar hy vandaan kom ...
Pa sê hulle het 'n klein saadjie op 'n warm plekkie gebêre, toe groei hy, en toe kry hulle hom.
Die laaitie loop in die tuin, tel 'n saadjie op en sit dit onder die stoepmat in die son.
Na 'n paar dae onthou hy daarvan en gaan lig die mat op.
'n Kriek spring uit ..... en die seuntjie sê : Flippet, as ek nie geweet het jy is my kind nie, het ek jou nou moer toe getrap !!
---

Ek haat sulke barladies!!! Dis hulle skuld laat mens heeldag in die bar sit en suip en as jy die aand by die huis kom is jy weer in die kak.

Uiteindelik kry ek weer kans om iets te post.
Ons het 'n internet sponsor gekry, wat dit moontlik maak dat daar nou meer gereeld goed gelaai sal word. Thanks ECC Systems!!!

Dan wil ons ook net vir hierdie 2 etters sê "Baie fokken mooi. Daar gaan ons rugby alweer vir 'n pot kak." Stofile maak geen geheim daarvan dat hy die kat wil naai en almal wat iets van die game af weet in sy pad is nie. Volgens Hoskins, moet Jake fokkof want die ouens op die raad like nie om saam met hom (Jake) te werk nie. Nou hoekom waai hulle nie eerder nie? Hulle doen anyway net mooi niks. Die keer wanneer hulle wel by die game betrokke raak is dit net om kak aan te vang. Om daai rede, kry julle elk 'n HALWE LIP toekenning, want julle is fokken useless...



Die week het ons net 'n klomp ingelse grappe... so hier kom hulle .

Husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, "I have a headache."
"Perfect" her husband said. "I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with grand-pa. You can take it orally or as a suppository,...it's up to you !"



I was buying a large bag of Eukanuba (Dog food) at Pick and Pay and standing in line at the check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Eukanuba Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 22 kilos before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Eukanuba nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door. Stupid bitch...why else would I buy dog food?




A pony walks into a bar and says "Bartender, may I have a drink?"
Bartender says "What? I can't hear you. Speak up!"
"May I please have a drink?"
"What? You have to speak up!"
"Could I please have a drink?"
"Now listen, if you don't speak up I will not serve you."
"I'm sorry, I'm just a little hoarse."
-----
A blind man walks into a bar with a seeing-eye dog. When the blind man reaches the center of the bar, he snatches the dog up by his collar and starts swinging him around and around.
The bartender speaks up and says "Hey what the hell are you doing?"
The blind man says, "Just taking a look around.."
-----
A guy walks into a bar and sees a dog lying in the corner licking his balls.
He turns to the bartender and says, "Boy, I wish I could do that."
The Bartender replies, "You'd better try petting him first."
-----
This guy walks into a bar with a frog on his head.
The bartender says, "Hey, what's that?"
To which the frog replies "I don't know. It started as a wart on my bum and this happened."
-----
A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says to the man, "Hey guy, you've got a steering wheel down your pants."
The guy replies "Yeah I know. It's driving me nuts!"
-----
A guy goes up to a girl in bar and asks, "You want to play "Magic"?"
She says, "What's that?"
The guy answers, "We go to my house and screw, and then you disappear."
-----
A man with a wooden eye was sitting at a bar one night. He glanced across the room and noticed a very attractive woman with just one flaw, she had a very large nose. He was very self-conscious about his eye but got up the nerve to ask her for a dance.
"Would you like to dance with me?" he asked.
She replied, "Would I!" and he sneered and told her,"BIG NOSE!"
-----
A guy travelling through the prairies of the USA stopped at a small town and went to a bar. He stood at the end of the bar, ordered a drink, and lit up a cigar. As he sipped his drink, he stood there quietly blowing smoke rings.
After he blew nine or ten smoke rings into the air, an angry American Indian stomped up to him and said, "One more remark like that and I'll smash your face in!"

Ai man, die naweek is al klaar te kort vir als wat ek nog wil doen.
... maar nou ja, 'n man kan seker maar probeer.

O ja, dit herinner my mos nou...
Checkers, Pick & Pay en Spar gee gratis braairoosters weg!!! Slegs een per klient.
NB: die spesiale aanbod is net geldig terwyl voorraad hou.
Kliek hier vir meer besonderhede.

Ek sien die souties het besluit om Twinkenham te herontwerp. Hulle reken dit sal hulle 'n moerse voorsprong gee as hulle weer teen ons speel. Daar is selfs 'n nuwe trui



Dit bring nou by nog iets. Die volgende ou wat vertel dat ons gelukkig was dat daai "drie" nie toegeken is nie kry 'n PK.

Dis nie 'n drie nie...

...maak nie saak van watter kant af jy daarna kyk nie.

Dit kon erger gewees het:
'n Pa loop verby sy seun se kamer en tot sy stomme verbasing sien hy die bed is netjies opgemaak en die kamer is aan die kant.

Toe sien hy 'n koevert op die kussing. Dis gerig aan "Pa".

Met beklemming om sy hart tel hy dit op, skeur dit oop en lees die briefie :

"Liewe Pa, dis met groot spyt en verdriet dat ek vir jou skryf.

Ek moes wegloop saam met my nuwe meisie omdat ek nie met jou en Ma wou rusie maak nie. "Ek en Santie het ware passie ontdek. Sy is so oulik. Ek weet julle keur haar nie goed nie, omdat daar so baie ringe deur haar lippe, neus en ander plekke is, en sy vyf jaar ouer as ek is. Maar is nie net passie nie, Pa. Sy is swanger.

"Santie sê ons sal baie gelukkig wees. Sy het 'n woonwa wat iewers in 'n bos staan en daar is 'n hele hoop vuurmaakhout vir die winter. Ons wil sommer nog baie kinders hê. Santie het my ook geleer dat dagga nie net sleg is nie. Ons gaan sommer self 'n bietjie daarvan in die bos kweek en dit aan die ander mense in die kommune verkoop. Dan kan ons met daardie geld ander, duurder drugs soos COKE koop.

"Intussen hoop en bid ons dat die wetenskap 'n kuur vir VIGS vind sodat Santie gesond raak. Sy verdien dit !!!!!!!! Moenie bekommerd wees nie, Pa. Ek is darem al Vyftien en kan na myself kyk.

Ontspan, en geniet die kleinkinders wat nog kom.

Met liefde

Jou seun
Johan

"NS !!! Pa, niks hiervan is waar nie!!!! Ek is by Jannie. Ek wou Pa maar net daaraan herinner daar is baie erger dinge in die lewe as 'n swak rapport.

Bel wanneer dit veilig is om huis toe te kom !!!!!"

Wel as dit Santie is, loop ek self saam met haar weg!!!


Wat is die sterkste spier in 'n vrou se liggaam?
"Haar wangspiere, want as haar bek dik is, kry jy nie haar bene oop nie."

Dis oorlog...
...en as ons wen, gaan daar so paar van die Stokstyf crew se manne SPRINGBOK TATOOS kry!!!

Ek sit more middag my foon af om seker te maak niemand my met enige iets nie. As jy by my huis opdaag sonder dop of met enige ander bedoelings as om rugby te kyk... wel hoe sal mens dit nou diplomaties stel? FOKKOF NET!!!

Wel ons supporters lyk darem beter as hulle s'n.







BOKNAAI!!!!

Hier is die span wat Saterdag speel.


Percy Montgomery; JP Pietersen, Jaque Fourie, Francois Steyn, Bryan Habana; Butch James, Fourie du Preez; Danie Roussouw, Juan Smith, Schalk Burger, Victor Matfield, Bakkies Botha, CJ van der Linde, John Smit (capt), Os du Randt

Replacements: Bismarck du Plessis, Jannie du Plessis, Johannes Muller, Wickus van Heerden, Ruan Pienaar, Andre Pretorius, Wynand Olivier





As jy nie weet wat om te doen een naweek nie, gaan check bietjie hier!!!!

Wat 'n wonderlike rugby naweek wat voorlê.
Baie geluk aan die Cheetahs en Lions wat deur is na die Curriecup final en baie geluk aan die Bulls en die Sharks wat deur is na die World Cup finals.

Jirre, maar hierdie girl het ‘n paar tieflike liete!!!!

Every Friday evening after work Van der Merwe would braai a big, fat juicy steak. But his neighbours, being Catholic and therefore reluctant to eat meat on Fridays suffered agonies of temptation as the delicious aroma carried on the evening breeze.

They persuaded their priest to try to convert Van. Success! Van attended Mass and the priest sprinkled holy water over him and said, "You were born a Protestant, raised a Protestant but now you are a Catholic."

Everybody was delighted.

But when Friday night came the wonderful aroma of grilled steak again wafted over the neighbourhood.

The priest rushed into Van's garden just in time to see him clutching a small bottle of holy water and sprinkling it over the grilling meat and chanting, "You was born a cow, you was raised as a cow, but now you is a snoek!"

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl". The priest asks, "Is that you, Johnny Byrne?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Mary Walsh?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Brown?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Margaret Doyle?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Anne O' Neil?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Catherine 0' Toole, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped Johnny, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an Altar Boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.

Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Tommy slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"

"Four months holiday and five good leads."

Ja Micky, ek stem saam…