Friday, 26 October 2007

Ai man, die naweek is al klaar te kort vir als wat ek nog wil doen.
... maar nou ja, 'n man kan seker maar probeer.

O ja, dit herinner my mos nou...
Checkers, Pick & Pay en Spar gee gratis braairoosters weg!!! Slegs een per klient.
NB: die spesiale aanbod is net geldig terwyl voorraad hou.
Kliek hier vir meer besonderhede.

Ek sien die souties het besluit om Twinkenham te herontwerp. Hulle reken dit sal hulle 'n moerse voorsprong gee as hulle weer teen ons speel. Daar is selfs 'n nuwe trui



Dit bring nou by nog iets. Die volgende ou wat vertel dat ons gelukkig was dat daai "drie" nie toegeken is nie kry 'n PK.

Dis nie 'n drie nie...

...maak nie saak van watter kant af jy daarna kyk nie.

Dit kon erger gewees het:
'n Pa loop verby sy seun se kamer en tot sy stomme verbasing sien hy die bed is netjies opgemaak en die kamer is aan die kant.

Toe sien hy 'n koevert op die kussing. Dis gerig aan "Pa".

Met beklemming om sy hart tel hy dit op, skeur dit oop en lees die briefie :

"Liewe Pa, dis met groot spyt en verdriet dat ek vir jou skryf.

Ek moes wegloop saam met my nuwe meisie omdat ek nie met jou en Ma wou rusie maak nie. "Ek en Santie het ware passie ontdek. Sy is so oulik. Ek weet julle keur haar nie goed nie, omdat daar so baie ringe deur haar lippe, neus en ander plekke is, en sy vyf jaar ouer as ek is. Maar is nie net passie nie, Pa. Sy is swanger.

"Santie sê ons sal baie gelukkig wees. Sy het 'n woonwa wat iewers in 'n bos staan en daar is 'n hele hoop vuurmaakhout vir die winter. Ons wil sommer nog baie kinders hê. Santie het my ook geleer dat dagga nie net sleg is nie. Ons gaan sommer self 'n bietjie daarvan in die bos kweek en dit aan die ander mense in die kommune verkoop. Dan kan ons met daardie geld ander, duurder drugs soos COKE koop.

"Intussen hoop en bid ons dat die wetenskap 'n kuur vir VIGS vind sodat Santie gesond raak. Sy verdien dit !!!!!!!! Moenie bekommerd wees nie, Pa. Ek is darem al Vyftien en kan na myself kyk.

Ontspan, en geniet die kleinkinders wat nog kom.

Met liefde

Jou seun
Johan

"NS !!! Pa, niks hiervan is waar nie!!!! Ek is by Jannie. Ek wou Pa maar net daaraan herinner daar is baie erger dinge in die lewe as 'n swak rapport.

Bel wanneer dit veilig is om huis toe te kom !!!!!"

Wel as dit Santie is, loop ek self saam met haar weg!!!


Wat is die sterkste spier in 'n vrou se liggaam?
"Haar wangspiere, want as haar bek dik is, kry jy nie haar bene oop nie."

Friday, 19 October 2007

Dis oorlog...
...en as ons wen, gaan daar so paar van die Stokstyf crew se manne SPRINGBOK TATOOS kry!!!

Ek sit more middag my foon af om seker te maak niemand my met enige iets nie. As jy by my huis opdaag sonder dop of met enige ander bedoelings as om rugby te kyk... wel hoe sal mens dit nou diplomaties stel? FOKKOF NET!!!

Wel ons supporters lyk darem beter as hulle s'n.







BOKNAAI!!!!


Thursday, 18 October 2007

Hier is die span wat Saterdag speel.


Percy Montgomery; JP Pietersen, Jaque Fourie, Francois Steyn, Bryan Habana; Butch James, Fourie du Preez; Danie Roussouw, Juan Smith, Schalk Burger, Victor Matfield, Bakkies Botha, CJ van der Linde, John Smit (capt), Os du Randt

Replacements: Bismarck du Plessis, Jannie du Plessis, Johannes Muller, Wickus van Heerden, Ruan Pienaar, Andre Pretorius, Wynand Olivier





As jy nie weet wat om te doen een naweek nie, gaan check bietjie hier!!!!

Tuesday, 16 October 2007

Wat 'n wonderlike rugby naweek wat voorlê.
Baie geluk aan die Cheetahs en Lions wat deur is na die Curriecup final en baie geluk aan die Bulls en die Sharks wat deur is na die World Cup finals.


Jirre, maar hierdie girl het ‘n paar tieflike liete!!!!

Every Friday evening after work Van der Merwe would braai a big, fat juicy steak. But his neighbours, being Catholic and therefore reluctant to eat meat on Fridays suffered agonies of temptation as the delicious aroma carried on the evening breeze.

They persuaded their priest to try to convert Van. Success! Van attended Mass and the priest sprinkled holy water over him and said, "You were born a Protestant, raised a Protestant but now you are a Catholic."

Everybody was delighted.

But when Friday night came the wonderful aroma of grilled steak again wafted over the neighbourhood.

The priest rushed into Van's garden just in time to see him clutching a small bottle of holy water and sprinkling it over the grilling meat and chanting, "You was born a cow, you was raised as a cow, but now you is a snoek!"

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl". The priest asks, "Is that you, Johnny Byrne?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Mary Walsh?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Brown?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Margaret Doyle?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Anne O' Neil?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Catherine 0' Toole, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped Johnny, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an Altar Boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.

Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Tommy slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"

"Four months holiday and five good leads."

Ja Micky, ek stem saam…

Friday, 12 October 2007

Net 'n klomp engelse grappe vandag
...want julle doners stuur mos nie meer Afrikaanse grappe in nie.

Ek is nie seker wat dit is nie, maar ek like die foto moerse baie. Stuur vir ons sulke foto's asb.



Die semi's is hier!!! Good luck aan die bokke. hulle moet nou net nie loop opfok soos die Aussies en Kiwi's nie.



Dis hoe jy Suid-Afrikaners uitken in Frankryk.



A doctor gave his blonde patient a packet of birth control pills. A week later, she returned and told him they were not working.
"What's wrong with them," the doctor asked?
"They keep falling out," She replied!
---
A man and a women are having sex in a dark forest.
After 15 minutes the man says, "It is darker then hell here. I wish I had a flashlight."
The woman said, "Yeah, so do I, as you have been eating grass for the last 10 minutes."
----
A man who had been dating a shy blonde for a short while decided it was time to have a conversation about sex.
"Ever think of having anal sex?" he asked.
"I could never," she said.
Disappointed, he said, "What a bout regular sex?"
"I couldn't. I need to be a virgin on my wedding night," she replied.
"Well, where do you stand on oral sex then?" he asked.
"I don't know why it matters but usually at the side of the bed. And I don't stand, I kneel"
-----
A girl approaches a priest and says, "Quickie Father? Only 5 bucks."
The priest says, "No, thank you"
Anther girl comes up to him and says, "A quickie? Just 5 dollars."
He says, "No thanks."
When he gets back to the church he asks one of the nuns, "What is a quickie?"
The nun says, "Five dollars. The same as in town."
----

Oscar walks into the house and yells to his wife, "Honey i won another Big Dick contest!"
"My God! You pulled that big hairy thing out in front of a room full of strangers again?" she yells.
He says, "Nope, just enough to win."
----
A man goes to a therapist, "Doc, you have to help me. Evrey night my wife goes to Larry's Bar to pick up guys." Therapist says, "Just relax, take a deep breath and tell me where this Larry's Bar is."



Ek sien daar is mense wat duidelik nie verstaan nie en ook nie die goed FAQ's ( hier regs, bo aan die blog) gelees het nie. So laat ek net eers so paar vragies wat in my inbox geland het antwoord.

(v) Wat is in julle water dat die girls almal sulke groot boobs het?
(a) Wie de fok gee om...

(v) Hoekom het jy nog nie die foto's van my girlfriend geplaas nie?
(a) Fok ou, sy is HUGE... ek het nie genoeg plek op die server gehad nie.

(v) Dankie dat jy my meisie op die site gesit het, maar hoekom het jy my uit die foto gesny?
(a) Dis nie 'n pornsite nie, en jy het soos 'n doos gelyk.

(v) Waneer hou julle 'n Stokstyf Party?
(a) Vroeg in volgende jaar, MAAR ons sal die gaste self uitsoek en dit sal van die Vrydag aand tot Sondag oggend aanhou.

Die volgende wil ons nie daar hê nie:
- kakmakers, preutse mense, mense met issues

Die volgende wil ons wel daar hê nie:
- ouens en girls wat hard kan kuier

Nou wil jy seker weet hoe op die guestlist kom? Dis eenvoudig...
Mense wat ons raakgedrink het en waarvan ons hou sal genooi word. Mense wat bydraes tot die site lewer, sal ook oorweeg word. Dit beteken dat ons nie net 'n klomp locals daar gaan hê nie, maar mense van orals af.



Natuurlik as jy soos hierdie girl lyk, is jy meer as welkom. Anyway, wat dink julle van haar?

Thursday, 11 October 2007

MOERSE GOEIE DEAL!!!!!
...hier kan jy lekker score, maar dan moet jy jou gat roer.

Refrub Laptops!

Dell Latitude D600 - Laptop
Centrino 1.6Ghz
1GB Ram
80GB HDD
Combo Drive
14.1” Screen
Onboard Nic / Modem & Wireless
Windows XP Pro
Carry Bag
3 Month Carry in Warranty R 4 300ex VAT

HP Nx9010 - Laptop
P4
3.0Ghz
512MB Ram
40GB HDD
Combo Drive
14.1” Screen
Onboard Nic / Modem
Windows XP Pro
Carry Bag
3 Month Carry in Warranty R
4 000 ex VAT

Limited stock available!

Email: ben@stokstyf.co.za

Tuesday, 09 October 2007

Long time no see... maar nou is ek terug en ding is weer aan die gang!!!
Wat 'n upset was dit nie die naweek met die RWC nie. Anyway, hier is die rugby fixtures sodat jy niks misloop nie.

Saturday 13 Oct
France meets England @ St Denis - 21h00

Sunday 14 Oct
South Africa meets Argentina @ St Denis - 21h00

Monday 8 Oct
NZ meets Aus @ Charles de Gaulle Airport - 13h00

Volgens gerugte is dit nou maklik om kaartjies vir die finals te kry

Koos was walking through his veld one day when he spots someone drinking water from a pool.
He shouts, "Moenie die water drink nie, dis vol skaap kak".
The other guy says, "I'm Australian mate, speak English!"
Koos replies, "Use both hands, you'll get more that way".

Check so 'n Aussie prostituut!!!!


A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian coast. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.

Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable. The Sarge says, 'Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news'.

'Well,' says the bloke, 'I guess I'd better have the bad news first?'

The Sarge says, 'I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead.' The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is.

The Sarge says, 'Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crays and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share.' He hands the bloke a big sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it.

'Geez thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... So what's the other possible good news?'

'Well', the Sarge says, 'if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again!'

Kan jy die kak glo!!!



Anyway, wat dink julle van hierdie girl?

Monday, 01 October 2007

Stel alles af....
... want die naweek kyk ons net rugby.

Saterdag, 6 Oktober:

Australia v England, Stade Vélodrome, Marseille
Kick-off: 15.00 (14.00 BST, 13.00 GMT)

New Zealand v France, Millennium Stadium, Cardiff
Kick-off: 20.00 (19.00 GMT)

Sondag, 7 Oktober:

SOUTH AFRICA v Fiji, Stade Vélodrome, Marseille
Kick-off: 15.00 (14.00 BST, 13.00 GMT)

Argentina v Scotland, Stade de France, Paris
Kick-off: 21.00 (20.00 BST, 19.00 GMT)

As jy nog nie gehoor het nie, Jannie Du Plessis join sy broer vir die wêreldbeker. Hy vervang vir BJ Botha wat beseer is.


Nooit het ek gedink ek sou dit sien nie, maar fokket... daai dude is kak vinnig!!!

Die leeuloop is gerevamp...
Da's n lelike ding wat klit wys in Parys! Iets hellemal aners as n voëlsuig of by jou baas muis wys! Hulle noem dit die "slaksleep" - op n barstoel by n braai sit n girl en eet ha slaai... Sy vra asseblief my lief kan ek slaksleep? Al is hy baie verleidelik gaan ek hom nou stap vir stap verduidelik.Sit jou hande op jou spene, maak oop jou bene, laat sak die slak tot op die stene en laat hy krul, as jy wil solank jy net slaksleep.



Die muis en die kameelperd staan en kakpraat terwyl hulle eet. Die kameelpard is duidelik dik windgat oor sy lang nek. Met etes kan ek elke happie geniet die heelpad wat hy op pad is maag toe en in die somer is dit so verfrissend om ietsie koud te drink - die koel vog verkwik my hele lyf terwyl dit in my keel afvloei..."
Die muis vra:...
"Al ooit gekots??"


...wie van julle ken die song?