Poena Is Koning



Ek het uiteindelik die fliek gesien! Al wat ek wil sê is al die film critics wat die fliek so afskiet se moere. Dis seker die fliek wat ek die meeste geniet het hierdie jaar. Hot girls, mense wat kak droog maak, vuilgat grappe, polities verkeerd soos kan kom, ens. PERFEK



My favourite stukke in die fliek is waat die onnie sy moer strip en tune "Fok die regering, fok die ANC, fok sokker...." of so iets. Maakie saakie, dis wat ek gehoor het anyway. O ja en natuurlik die "Jis ou Giel" stuk was kak snaaks al is dit ook 'n ou grap.

Kliek op die prent om dit full-size te sien


Hierdie naweek paartie ons biejie saam met Andries Vermeulen, daai dude wat so kwaai sing... check volgende week die foto's.
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Mediese professor gee 'n toespraak by 'n damesklub oor spontane spierbewegings. Hy vra so 'n oulike blonde dingetjie in die voorste ry: "Weet jy wat doen jou poepol as jy 'n orgasme het?"
Ja, antwoord sy, hy speel golf saam met sy pêlle !!



Die meisie slaag matriek goed en haar bejaarde ouers van die plaas, skraap hulle laaste geld bymekaar om hulle begaafde dogter verder te laat studeer in wetenskappe aan die beste universiteit in Amerika. Drie jaar gaan verby toe sy weer eendag bel, met die nuus dat sy haar eerste graad geslaag het, en dat sy vir hulle die produk wat sy uitgevind het, gaan stuur uit dankbaarheid dat hulle hul laaste ou geldjies gegee het om haar te laat leer. As hulle elke week elkeen 'n teelepel van die goed drink is hulle gewaarborg dat hulle gou-gou jonger sal wees, en met elke drinkslag daarna steeds jonger sal word. So gemaak so gedaan... en 'n paar maande gaan verby en die dogter besluit om die vakansie huis toe te gaan aangesien sy baie verlang.
Op die plaas aangekom, skrik sy amper om te sien hoe jonk en mooi haar ma geword het, daar waar sy die stoep vee. Haar ma was skaars dertig, pragtig gebou en soos in die outyd, met die oulikste kleintjie op haar rug vasgebind "Hallo Ma!!" skree sy, "maar Ma het jonk geword! Waar is Pa?" "Anner storie daai" sê haar ma. "Die derde aand wat ons daai goed van jou drink , raak jou Pa toe so suurgat dat ek baie gouer as hy jonger geword het dat hy daai bottel gryp en hom heeltemal uitsuip!" " Nou waar is Pa dan nou?"
Ma: " Hier sit die Bliksem op my rug!!!"

Jislaaik die week gaan vinnig...
mens kan net nie byhou nie!!

Ok daai is 'n moerse klomp foto's gelaai. Ja, ek weet dis laat, maar shutup, dit is mos nou daar!

Daar is van more aand af elke Woensdag en Vrydag parties by Barbaroozos. Ongelukkig weet Steven nie dat dit net mooi fokkol help om vir my details te gee as ek vol dop is nie. Sal maar kyk of ek vanaand daar kan omgaan en die goed kan kry.

Hou nou op so doos wees en woon ten minste een ou paartietjie saam met ons by.

O ja, amper vergeet ek... as jy belangstel om deel te wees van die eerste STOKSTYF PARTY, stuur vir ons 'n email. Ons vat slegs 20 mense! As jy een van daai vervelige dose is, moenie eers apply nie. Ons soek net die lekkerste kuiergatte vir hierdie booze-cruise. Stuur mail vir Ben@stokstyf.co.za of kom gesels met ons as ons weer by die bar is.



A Department of Agriculture representative stopped at a farm and talked with an old Afrikaans farmer. He told the farmer, 'I need to inspect your farm.'
The old Afrikaner said, 'OK Boet, but doesn't goes in that field over there.'

The Agriculture representative said, 'Mister, I have the authority of the Government with me. See this card? The card means I am allowed to go WHEREVER I WISH on any agricultural land. No questions asked or answered. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?'

The old farmer nodded politely and went about his farm chores. Later, the old farmer heard loud screams and saw the Agriculture Rep running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's huge-horned prize bull. The bull was gaining on the Agriculture Rep with every step. The Rep was clearly terrified, so the old farmer immediately threw down his tools, ran to the
fence and shouted out.....

'Your card! Your card, Boet! Shows him your card!'



A Jewish woman says to her mother, "I'm divorcing Ralphie.

All he wants is anal sex and my arsehole is now the size of a 50c piece, when it used to be the size of a 5c piece".

Her mother says, "Sylvie, you're married to a multi-millionaire, you live in an eight bedroom mansion, you drive a Ferrari, you get a R7,000 monthly allowance, you take six holidays a year, and you're willing to throw it all away for 45c!"

Hier is vir jou 'n goeie geleendheid om so paar extra rande te maak vir die Desember wat voorlê.

Nog 'n week het sy gat gesien, en dis hoogtyd ook.
Weet nie of dit net ek is wat lus voel vir die naweek nie, maar hierdie week het moer se lank gevoel. Woensdag se foto's is gelaai, so gaan check maar daar op die foto gallery.


Jirre maar die doners is vermetel. Check bietjie hier.
(kliek om full-size te sien)



Klein seuntjie vra vir sy pa waar hy vandaan kom ...
Pa sê hulle het 'n klein saadjie op 'n warm plekkie gebêre, toe groei hy, en toe kry hulle hom.
Die laaitie loop in die tuin, tel 'n saadjie op en sit dit onder die stoepmat in die son.
Na 'n paar dae onthou hy daarvan en gaan lig die mat op.
'n Kriek spring uit ..... en die seuntjie sê : Flippet, as ek nie geweet het jy is my kind nie, het ek jou nou moer toe getrap !!
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Ek haat sulke barladies!!! Dis hulle skuld laat mens heeldag in die bar sit en suip en as jy die aand by die huis kom is jy weer in die kak.

Uiteindelik kry ek weer kans om iets te post.
Ons het 'n internet sponsor gekry, wat dit moontlik maak dat daar nou meer gereeld goed gelaai sal word. Thanks ECC Systems!!!

Dan wil ons ook net vir hierdie 2 etters sê "Baie fokken mooi. Daar gaan ons rugby alweer vir 'n pot kak." Stofile maak geen geheim daarvan dat hy die kat wil naai en almal wat iets van die game af weet in sy pad is nie. Volgens Hoskins, moet Jake fokkof want die ouens op die raad like nie om saam met hom (Jake) te werk nie. Nou hoekom waai hulle nie eerder nie? Hulle doen anyway net mooi niks. Die keer wanneer hulle wel by die game betrokke raak is dit net om kak aan te vang. Om daai rede, kry julle elk 'n HALWE LIP toekenning, want julle is fokken useless...



Die week het ons net 'n klomp ingelse grappe... so hier kom hulle .

Husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, as usual, "I have a headache."
"Perfect" her husband said. "I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with grand-pa. You can take it orally or as a suppository,...it's up to you !"



I was buying a large bag of Eukanuba (Dog food) at Pick and Pay and standing in line at the check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Eukanuba Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 22 kilos before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Eukanuba nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door. Stupid bitch...why else would I buy dog food?




A pony walks into a bar and says "Bartender, may I have a drink?"
Bartender says "What? I can't hear you. Speak up!"
"May I please have a drink?"
"What? You have to speak up!"
"Could I please have a drink?"
"Now listen, if you don't speak up I will not serve you."
"I'm sorry, I'm just a little hoarse."
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A blind man walks into a bar with a seeing-eye dog. When the blind man reaches the center of the bar, he snatches the dog up by his collar and starts swinging him around and around.
The bartender speaks up and says "Hey what the hell are you doing?"
The blind man says, "Just taking a look around.."
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A guy walks into a bar and sees a dog lying in the corner licking his balls.
He turns to the bartender and says, "Boy, I wish I could do that."
The Bartender replies, "You'd better try petting him first."
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This guy walks into a bar with a frog on his head.
The bartender says, "Hey, what's that?"
To which the frog replies "I don't know. It started as a wart on my bum and this happened."
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A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says to the man, "Hey guy, you've got a steering wheel down your pants."
The guy replies "Yeah I know. It's driving me nuts!"
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A guy goes up to a girl in bar and asks, "You want to play "Magic"?"
She says, "What's that?"
The guy answers, "We go to my house and screw, and then you disappear."
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A man with a wooden eye was sitting at a bar one night. He glanced across the room and noticed a very attractive woman with just one flaw, she had a very large nose. He was very self-conscious about his eye but got up the nerve to ask her for a dance.
"Would you like to dance with me?" he asked.
She replied, "Would I!" and he sneered and told her,"BIG NOSE!"
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A guy travelling through the prairies of the USA stopped at a small town and went to a bar. He stood at the end of the bar, ordered a drink, and lit up a cigar. As he sipped his drink, he stood there quietly blowing smoke rings.
After he blew nine or ten smoke rings into the air, an angry American Indian stomped up to him and said, "One more remark like that and I'll smash your face in!"