Naweek!!!!! Uiteindelik!!!!!

Die foto's van die laaste paartie is ook gelaai. Nou is dis tyd vir rugby kyk, bier drink en potjiekos. Ek het gedink 'n potjie sal mooi werk hierdie naweek, aangesien ek nou al 4 keer in die laaste week gebraai het.



Hierdie lyk na die beste games om te check die naweek...

Vrydag England v Tonga 21:00
Saterdag Wales v Fiji 17:00
Sondag Ireland v Argentina 17:00
Sondag South Africa v USA 20:00




When Schalk Burger does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up; he's pushing the Earth down.
When Schalk Burger goes swimming he doesn't get wet, the water gets Schalk Burgered.
When the Tokoloshe goes to sleep every night, he checks under his bed for Schalk Burger.
Schalk Burger counted to infinity - twice.
Schalk Burger invented every colour. Except pink. Percy Montgomery invented pink.
Schalk Burger's hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Schalk Burger gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Schalk Burger can slam a revolving door.
Schalk Burger's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; No-one fools Schalk Burger.
Schalk Burger can speak Braille.
Schalk Burger's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
Superman owns a pair of Schalk Burger pyjamas.
Schalk Burger owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1993 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
Schalk Burger sleeps with a night light. Not because Schalk Burger is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Schalk Burger .
Once a cobra bit Schalk Burger's leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Schalk Burger divides by zero.
When Schalk Burger exercises, the machine gets stronger.
Schalk Burger doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now".
Schalk Burger can kill two stones with one bird.
The only time Schalk Burger was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

... rugby is duidelik nie vir almal nie!!!!


Die Stokstyf Crew gaan Saterdag se rugby 'n skip gee. Ons gaan bietjie Stockcars kyk.


Hierdie fokkers verdien al die grappe wat na hulle kant toe kom:

Q. What do Mark Boucher and Michael Jackson have in common?
A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason.

Q. What's the difference between Graeme Smith and George Bush?
A. George Bush has more victories.

Q. What is South Africa's best chance of a win at Kingsmead?
A. Telling the other team the match is at the Wanderers.

Q. How bad is the South African batting?
A. Well, the selectors are thinking of moving Extras up the batting order.

Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. A South African batsman putting on sunscreen.

Q. What is the main function of the South African coach?
A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

Q. What's the South African version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. Why don't South African fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
A. Because they never catch anything.

Q. What do you call a South African with 50 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.

Q. What's the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Graeme Smith?
A. His walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the South African touring party?
A. The guy who removes the ball marks from the bats.

Q. What does Graeme Smith and a drug addict have in common??
A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.

Q. Who spent the most time on the crease of anyone in the South African touring party?
A. The lady who ironed the cricket uniforms.

Q. Why is Graeme Smith cleverer than Houdini?
A. Because he can get out without even trying.

Q. Why did Minky dump Graeme Smith?
A. Because he went in and out too quickly!

Landi Verjaar!!!!
Party more aand (Woensdag) by Barbs.
Hunters Extreme donasies welkom.

O ja, regulars wat nie opdaag nie is DOOS VAN DIE WEEK.

Kallie en Gerrie
Kallie sien Gerrie sukkel met blokkies-raaisel...
Kallie: Waarmee sukkel jy so?
Gerrie: Vroulike geslags orgaan, vier letters, tweede letter "O".
Kallie: dwars of af?
Gerrie: dwars
Kallie: mond!





Kak stories:

DIE SPOOK DROL:
Jy voel hom uitkom, maar wanneer jy kyk, is daar niks in die toilet nie.

DIE SKOON DROL:
Jy voel hom uitkom, jy sien hom in die toilet, maar daar is niks op die papier nie.

DIE NAT DROL:
Die tipe waar jy jou gat 50 keer afvee, maar dit voel nog steeds vuil, dan moet jy toiletpapier in jou onderbroek sit sodat jy nie briekmerke los nie.

DIE SECOND-WAVE DROL:
Dit gebeur wanneer jy klaar is met die taak, jou broek tot by jou knee optrek en dan agterkom dat daar nog een oppad is.

DIE BARS-'N-AAR-IN-JOU-KOP DROL:
Die tipe waar jy so hard druk om die bliksem uit te kry dat jy letterlik 'n hartaanval kry.

DIE BOOMSTOMP:
Die tipe drol wat so groot is, dat jy te bang is om hom weg te spoel sonder om hom eers in kleiner stukkies op te breek.

DIE FREE-FLOW-EXHAUST DROL:
Die tipe wat so hard raas wanneer hy uitkom, dat die kakhuisdeur eintlik rattle.

DIE MORNING-AFTER DROL:
Die tipe drol wat die oggend na 'n heavy party uitkom. Sy bekendste kenmerk is die briekmerke wat hy onder in die toilet los.

DIE MIELIE DROL:
Die tipe drol waarin die mielies wat jy geeet het soos rosyntjies in 'n muffin sit.

DIE EK-WENS-EK-KON DROL:
Die tipe waar jy gedink het jy moet, maar al wat uitkom is 'n paar poepe.

DIE RUGBREEK DROL:
Die tipe drol wat so seermaak wanneer hy uitkom, dat jy dink hy het jou sideways verlaat.

DIE MICHAEL-SCHUMACHER DROL:
Die tipe wat so vinnig uitkom, dat hy jou hele hol nat spat.

DIE HANG DROL:
Hierdie drol weier om te val, al is jy klaar. Jy hoop maar net dat 'n paar skutte hom sal laat afbreek.

DIE GEDOG DROL:
Jy't gedog jy gaan poep, toe kak jy in jou broek.
-----

... so van 'n drolle gepraat... kyk hoe lyk die een!

...blykbaar het hulle hulself bekak oor hulle nuwe truie ook.

BOKNAAAI!!!
Vanaand kak Engeland...


Ons span: Percy Montgomery; JP Pietersen, Jaque Fourie, Frans Steyn, Bryan Habana; Butch James, Fourie du Preez; Danie Rossouw, Juan Smith, Wikus van Heerden, Victor Matfield, Bakkies Botha, BJ Botha, John Smit (c), Os du Randt.
Op die bank: Bismarck du Plessis, CJ van der Linde, Johann Müller, Bob Skinstad, Ruan Pienaar, André Pretorius, Wynand Olivier.

Soutpiel span: Jason Robinson; Josh Lewsey, Jamie Noon, Andy Farrell, Paul Sackey; Mike Catt, Shaun Perry; Nick Easter, Tom Rees, Martin Corry (c), Ben Kay, Simon Shaw, Matt Stevens, Mark Regan, Andrew Sheridan.
Op die bank: George Chuter, Perry Freshwater, Steve Borthwick, Lewis Moody, Andy Gomarsall, Peter Richards, Mathew Tait.

Jirre, maar ek maak baie moeite vir julle doners wat nie eers 'n eenvoudige ou comment op die blog wil los nie. Sien, hier het ek alweer die hele naweek vir jou vooruit beplan:

Vrydag
Currie Cup: The Sharks vs Boland, 5.45pm, SS1
World Cup: England vs South Africa, 8pm, SS1/SABC2

Saterdag
World Cup: New Zealand v Portugal, 12.20pm, SS1/SABC2
World Cup: Wales vs Australia, 2.40pm, SS1
Currie Cup: Free State Cheetahs vs Lions, 4.50pm, SS1
Currie Cup: Blue Bulls vs WP, 7pm, SS1
World Cup: Ireland vs Georgia, 8.50pm, SS1

Sondag
World Cup: Fiji vs Canada, 1.25pm, SS1
World Cup: Samoa vs Tonga, 3.50pm, SS1/SABC2
World Cup: France vs Namibia, 8.30pm, SS1/SABC2

-------
Ingelse stories
Mandela is walking down the street with his new dog, a little fox terrier. He meets up with de Klerk. De Klerk says: "Ah, what a sweet little terrier, what's his name?" Mandela replies: " I haven't named him yet, I just got him, I have still to decide on a name. Any suggestions?" De Klerk thinks for a while then says " Why don't you call him Tuckshop?" Mandela says " Hmmm strange name, but thanks for the suggestion." He carries on walking and sees Mbeki. Mbeki says " Nice fox terrier, what's his name?" Mandela explains that he has no name for him as yet, but that de Klerk had suggested Tuckshop. Mandela and Mbeki stand there very puzzled at this strange name that de Klerk suggested. Eventually they decide to go and look the name up in the dictionary and see if it has any significant meaning.
In the dictionary it read: TUCKSHOP - a small cafeteria.
------

Chinese couple had a black baby, and the husband didn't believe it was his.
Husband asks his wife: why baby black?
The wife replies: "U hot, I hot , baby burn!



3 Skilpaaie, Bob, Daan en Karneels, besluit om n piekniek te gaan hou by die parkie. Die parkie is 10 kilo's van hulle huis af en dit vat hulle 5 dae om daar te kom. Hulle pak vir hulle n mandjie vol toebroodjies en bier. Hulle staan die volgende oggend op en begin met die vyf dag trip. Finally kom hulle by die parkie aan en begin die mandjie uitpak en hulle kry vir hulle elkeen n bier. Hulle vind toe uit dat Karneels vergeet het om die bottel opener in te sit. Hulle se vir hom hy moet terug gaan en die ding gaan haal. "Net as julle belowe dat julle nie die toebroodjies sal eet as ek weg is nie" se Karneels. "Ons belowe" se die ander twee. En daar gaan Karneels, hoogs bedonnerd. Na 10 dae is ou Karneels nog nie terug met die opener nie en Bob en Daan aak nou lekker honger, maar hulle wag maar vir ou Karneels want hulle het belowe. Na 20 dae is ou Karneels nog steeds nie terug nie en Bob en Daan raak nou bekommerd en baie honger.Hulle besluit toe hulle is nou gatvol gewag en maak die piekniek mandjie oop en klim in die toebroodjies in. Net daar spring ou Karneels agter 'n klip uit:
"Ek het dit geweet, nou sal ek nie 'n fok gaan nie!"
----

Jannie speel in die sitkamer met sy treinstel.
Sy Ma is in die kombuis doenig. Sy hoor die klein seuntjie:
"Toet-toooeeet, Stasie nommer 56, almal wat wil af fok, fok af en almal wat wil op fok, fok op." Sy Ma kry amper 'n hartaanval, maar besluit sy los hom. So rukkie later hoor sy hom weer:
"Toet-tooeeet, Stasie nommer 101, Almal wat wil af donner, donner af en almal wat wil op donner, donner op." Sy gryp hom, slaat sy gat aan die brand en stuur hom kamer toe.
Sy sê hy kan uitkom as hy jammer is. So rukkie later kom hy snikkend uit sy kamer uit en gaan speel verder. Toet-tooeet, Stasie nommer 34, Almal wat wil afklim, klim af en almal wat wil opklim, klim op en die van julle wat wil weet hoekom is die trein laat, vra die teef in die kombuis!
----

Ma en Pa sê vir Jannie: " As jy nog een keer so gaan vloek, kap ons jou tottie af!!
Jannie sê: "Dis okay. Ek gee nie om nie. Sannie s'n is afgekap en omgesoom en dit lyk fokken 'stunning'!"
-----

Raai wie is Jannie?


Nou voor mense ons daarvan beskuldig dat ons net altyd kak praat hier.... hier is 'n stukkie nuus.

A statement from the health minister:

"Although I was Absinthe from the office for several months, I wish to remind you that I Amstel the Minister of Health, am not a dictator but I Amarula and I will continue to Rum the Department of Health," she stated, announcing her return to office.

When quizzed on her health, she mentioned she had recovered well. "Of course I am well, she retorted. "I am more than well - I am O KWV! Ask a stupid question and get a stupid Hansa.

Despite being asked about her new liver, she made no reference to the Morgan transplant.

President Mbeki has rallied around his friend: "She has my Absolute support. That is why I wiped the silly Smirnoff her deputy's face! The opposition will not be able Tequila career."

Let's face it, no matter how many times the DA has stirred , the Minister appears unshaken and despite her career being on the rocks, she is still a Mainstay of the ANC government.

-----
Boeta, maar hierdie is 'n paar nice kanne... wat dink julle ?

SA 59, Samoa 7
Dis lekker om 'n slag weer die bokke te sien goed speel, al sit ek nog vandag met 'n babbelas as gevolg daarvan.



Die boer en sy werker neem saam viagra. Die dag staan die twee en werk in die land toe die meneer kop uitsteek. Jonas skrik so groot en vra: "Baas, moet ek die miesies gaan roep."
Die boer sê: "nee Jonas, bring die lorrie die meneer wil dorp toe gaan."
-----

n Boer sit in 'n baie afgeleë deel van ons land in die veld en hou sy vee dop. 'n Splinternuwe Land Rover kom uit 'n stofwolk te voorskyn, pyl reg op hom af en stop. Die drywer, 'n 24 jarige jongman met 'n Brioni pak klere, Gucci skoene, Ray Ban sonbrille en 'n YSL das, leun by die venster uit en vra, "As ek vir jou presies kan sê hoeveel skape jy het - kan ek een kry?
Die boer kyk na die jongman en toe na sy skape en sê "Nou maar goed"
Die jongman parkeer, pluk sy laptop uit, konnekteer dit met sy selfoon, gaan na die NASA webwerf en konnekteer met 'n GPS waarnemings sateliet. Hy maak toe die databasis oop en verbind dit met 'n Excel sigblad met honderde ingewikkelde formules. Nadat hy 'n paar berekeninge gedoen het draai hy na die boer en sê "Jy het presies 1,586 skape op hierdie plaas."
"Ongelooflik" sê die boer "Dis 100% in die kol."
Die boer kyk hoe die jongman sy keuse maak en die dier in die Land Rover sit en sê toe "As ek vir jou kan sê wat jou politieke oortuiging is, waar jy vandaan kom en vir wie jy werk - kan ek my skaap terugkry?"
"Nou maar goed" sê die jongman "Hoekom nie?"
Jy behoort aan die ANC, kom uit Johannesburg en jy werk vir Cyril Rhamaposa"
"Wow!" sê die jongman "Dis reg - maar hoe het jy dit geraai?"
"Maklik" sê die boer "Jy daag hier op sonder dat iemand jou gevra het om te kom. Jy wil betaal word om 'n probleem op te los waarvoor ek reeds die antwoord het en jy het nie 'n idee wat jy doen nie - jy het bv. my hond in jou Land Rover gelaai!"
----

Wat is die definisie van 'n BACHELOR BOER?
Een wat Saterdagaande gaan saad plant in die dorp en Sondag oggend bid vir 'n misoes!!
----

Hierdie is die nuwe labels wat een van die dae op drank sal wees...


Hoekom het ´n blond een meer breinsel as ´n perd?
Sodat sy nie tydens ´n optog (bv. opening vannie parlement) in die straat kak nie!
---

Die blondine bring haar nuwe kêrel met die olierige hare, 8 oorbelle, 5 ringe, neusring en verslete leerbaadjie vir die eerste keer by haar ouers aan.
"Is hy 'n goeie seun my kind?" vra haar ma"
"Ja ma! As hy nie was nie sou hy nie 'n duisend uur gemeenskapsdiens verrig het nie."
---

Die blondine koop die een koeldrank na die ander by die koeldrankmasjien.
Persoon agter haar:"Hoekom bly jy geld in die masjien gooi?"
Blondine: "Bly stil! Kan jy nie sien ek is besig om te wen nie."
---

Ai hoekom het meer girls nie die vrymoedigheid van hierdie een nie?


10 ways to terrorize a telemarketer

10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog
just died."

9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where their company is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their for as long as necessary. Such as when did their company start, who was the founder, are they still with company?

8. Cry out in surprise, the name of the telemarker name such as "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give "Judy" a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.

7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends. would you be my friend?"

6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home arrest" and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.

4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"

2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke.
"Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.

Klein Saterdag
Ja, dis alweer tyd vir 'n lekker party vanaand. Ons gaan vanaand so bietjie ernstig skep daar by Barbaroozos. Een van die nuwe laaities op die TV het vanaand sy verjaarsdag paartie daar. Hy weet nog net nie, maar hy gaan lekker gesuip wees en ons sal daar wees om "evidence" te vat.




Die rugby world cup is amper hier!!!


So paar kort ingelse grappe:

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony
wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
---
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
---
A set of jump leads walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
---
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
---
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
---
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "Dam!"
---
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
---
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
---
Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail. And with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath...
This made him a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
---
Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to
Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true; no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
---
Deja-Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.


Kom ons kyk waarvan julle hou...
Kliek op hierdie prent om dit full-size te sien.
Maak jou keuse en post dit daar onder by die comments.

Het jy hiervan gehoor?

Gregan in doubt for world cup after being arrested by French police
----
Koos werk op die platteland, stop by 'n boom om te piepie ...... 'n
by steek hom op die "punt"....
Hy jaag soos 'n besetene na die naaste plaas en vra die ou Tannie:
Tannie ASB GOU 'n glas melk!!!
Hy druk die "storie" in die glas melk vir die brand.
Die Tannie sê vir hom (heel verstom):
My wêreld Boetie ek is al 80 jaar oud en dis wragtig die eerste keer
dat ek sien hoe julle hom REFILL !!
----

Nog 'n hot girl wat mooi saam werk...


Ingelse grappie
A train hits a bus filled with Catholic school girls and they all perish.

They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St.Peter asks the first girl, "Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a male organ?"
She giggles and shyly replies, "Well, I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger."
St. Peter says, "Okay, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and pass through the gate."

St.Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Jennifer, have you ever had any contact with a male organ?"
The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well, once I fondled and stroked one."
St. Peter says, "Okay, dip your whole hand in the Holy Water and pass through the gate."

All of a sudden, there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls. One girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front St. Peter says, "Lisa! What seems to be the rush?"
The girl replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Jessica sticks her ass in it.
----

Moenie sê ons gee julle niks nie...
Hier is vir jou 'n lekker wallpaper.


...goeie verduideliking