Brief aan Oprah

Dear Oprah

Hosh Oprah, Gatiep hieso and I am a South African American 26 Sonop hoe sal jy kan wys raak. Met respect en disipliene. For long I am your biggest fan since long long back and I like what you did to your hair girl. Jy lyk mos befok! I watch every program and raak kwaad if I miss one. Jy sallie vestaannie.

Oprah My problem is that I come from a disadvantage beckgroun. Where I did grow up we did not have befokte goede. The name of the place where I is from is Hanover Park because everytime when you walk in the street the people tell you han over your watch or han over your tekkies or han over your shell phone.
And had to go to school kaal voete. Now I got skewe voete from the cold werra.

I am writing this letter because I see you give people their dreams and I have a dream too. My dream is too drive in a fast car and to become a pit crew boyjie like dat ouens from Michael Skoenmaker. Dey mos kwaai jong. I ken ouense here in Cape Town who you can organishe wif. They will tink I wanna rob them if I ask. Their names is Nathier Price en Jeremy Michaels en Alistair Mctavish en Rudi. Ek ken nie Rudi se van nie.

I don't have their phone numbers because they did steal da phonebook byrra tikkie box again. Maak reelings girl. Moetie laat ek America toe vlieg en jou binne in jou ma se wietie wattie slaat tie.

Moetie swaak raak nie girl.

Aweh my ma se kind!