Goeie jokes!!!

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body Covered with a white sheet.
The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor.
The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body.
"For an example....", the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth.
"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.
The student's freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.
When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, 'The second most important quality is observation.
I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger.
Now learn to pay attention".
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Q.What is the height of optimism?
A. A South African batsman putting on sunscreen.

Q. What is the main function of the South African coach?
A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

Q. What's the South African version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. Why don't South African fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
A. Because they never catch anything.

Q. What's the South African version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

Q. What do you call a South African with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.

Q. What's the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Graeme Smith?
A. His walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the South African touring party?
A. The guy who removes the ball marks from the bats.

Q. What does Graeme Smith and a drug addict have in common??
A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.

Q. Who spent the most time on the crease of anyone in the South African touring party?
A. The lady who ironed the cricket uniforms.

Q. Why is Graeme Smith cleverer than Houdini?
A. Because he can get out without even trying.

Q. Why are South African batsmen looking forward to the new millennium?
A. So they can at least say they passed a century.


Email addresses for the SA Team

Graeme smith Down_the_wicked@hope_I_hit.com

AB De Villiers Raw_talent@sometimes.com

Jacques Kallis Stick@crease_like_Velcro.com

Herchelle Gibbs SixorNix_only@holland.com

Ashwell Prince Good@for_nothing.com

Mark Boucher Can_catch@thats_all.com

Justin Kemp Consistently@out_of_form.com

Andrew Hall Takewickets@only_with_england.com

Shaun Pollock Only_line&length@no_variaton.com

Andre Nel Aggression@tongue_not_in_cheek.com

Charl Langeveldt Ag_shame@try_to_swing.com

Roger Telemachus Why_am_i_here@nobody_knows.com